Season One, Episode Ten: “Gatorbait”
story by Anthony Yerkovich
written by E. Jack Kaplan
directed by Georg Stanford Brown
original airdate: March 5, 1981
“Previously on Hill Street Blues…”
(Note before we roll: obviously, last week’s warning that we might miss this week was premature. Onward!)
Roll Call: Item 11: A gang of kids (boys and girls) are flashing motorists. (Sitting in the front row with Morgan is a woman who looks disturbingly like Fay, but isn’t.) Item 12 introduces Operation Everglades, the annual alligator hunt in the sewers. While Phil explains this, Ray comes downstairs and rounds up some officers, who leave with him. And that’s it for roll call, an abnormally short one.
We immediately cut to an underground venue where Howard’s on the phone to Frank ranting about how last year’s hunt got bollixed by the SPCA. Cut to Frank, his patience already thin… with a guy in white SPCA coveralls standing right next to him. That guy is Dewey Brownfield, who’s got his own beef: last year, Howard’s goons nailed him with a tranquilizer dart and left him in a coma for nine days. Howard, naturally, blames Dewey for getting in the way. For some reason, there’s a cat on Frank’s desk; Henry wanders in and commisserates with Dewey while Frank continues talking to Howard. Dewey departs to go join Howard’s crew in the sewer, and Frank pawns the cat off on Henry. Roll credits.
Ray’s dealing with some “guests” when Phil accosts him wondering what he was doing at roll call. Ray explains night watch was burning two hours of overtime helping with his homicide investigation, and Phil is incensed; he is in charge of the uniformed officers, while plainclothes is Ray’s bailiwick. Henry interrupts to pawn the cat off on Phil, then leaves; Phil returns his attention to Ray. Ray points out that Phil sometimes gives orders to plainclothes, and Phil immediately regrets getting angry. They toddle off, being entirely too nice to one another. Frank joins them, asking about the investigation. Ray informs Frank that Division, under Emil Schneider, has taken over the case.
Out in the field, Andy and Bobby enter a tenement where they meet Schneider and Dann. Schneider’s grilling Dann about what he’s observed, indicating he’s training him. Metzger, the coroner, joins them, and they banter a bit. Andy calls Schneider out on the mis-identification of the type of fabric in question, which Schneider doesn’t cotton to. After Schneider leaves, Bobby chastises Andy; apparently, this isn’t the first run in Renko’s had with the lieutenant.
Back in the sewer, Devlin offers Howard a danish. He’s pleased, until something drips from the ceiling right onto his danish. Back at the station, Phil and Ray are still overdoing the making-up thing. Hill and Renko wander in, and head to Frank’s office. They update him on the homicide scene, and Andy starts grousing about Schneider treating them like idiots. After Andy and Bobby start bickering, Frank cuts them off; the partners do then agree that it seems weird that Schneider would be involved in a run-of-the-mill robbery/homicide.
LaRue and Washington are rooting around in a basement somewhere, and they uncover what they’re looking for: a fake alligator. With wheels. After the commercial break, they’re trying to get the gator in their car, and J.D.’s telling Neal about a bar that’s for sale which he’s interested in trying to buy and turn into a combined bar-slash-laundromat.
At the precinct, Swanson wanders in and runs into Marv, who’s setting up a hotline between the captain’s office and the front desk. As Swanson heads off to talk to Frank, Phil and Marv have a chat about Marv’s medical problems. In Frank’s office, Frank tells Swanson that Dewey hasn’t met up with Howard yet; Swanson slyly points out that he’s on the alligator’s side in this one. He then informs Frank he’s being promoted to Deputy Chief, and he’d really like Frank to put in for the now-vacated Commander slot. But he’ll have competition from Ed Chapel; Frank outscored him, but Chapel’s more of a politician. After a further interruption from Howard, Swanson tells Frank he needs to start playing politics or he’s going to get passed over.
Phil and Chesley enter, updating Frank on the case, and then there’s a commotion outside. Hello, Fay. This one is serious, though: Fay has picked up an obscene phone caller, who seems to know everything about her, and her local precinct put her on permanent hold with Montovani blaring in her ear. At first, Frank treats her like he normally does when she’s off the hinges, but when she finally explains the problem we see him change completely. As Fay lives in the Midtown precinct, Swanson excuses himself, saying he’ll take care of it personally.
Phil has figured out Frank’s up for Division, and he tips Ray. Two feet away, Lucy is doing Fay the courtesy of taking a report even though it’s not a Hill problem; Phil slides over to provide some verbal comfort. He and Lucy explain that obscene callers are usually too cowardly to do anything, but then inadvertently brings up a case where such a caller actually did, and now things are awkward.
Andy and Bobby have brought in Nemo Rodriguez, the suspect in the homicide. Frank charges Chesley with custody, telling him to not let anyone talk to him until Schneider arrives. The victim, it seems, was working at a Midtown sex club with an “influential” clientele; Henry is beside himself that the department knows about the club and hasn’t shut it down. Frank stops by Andy’s desk, where he’s processing Rodriguez, and gives him a staredown. Nemo’s terrified, but trying not to show it.
In the sewers, Howard’s team has still not found an alligator. But they found a lizard! Meanwhile, Furillo strolls into a cop hangout to find Schneider. After being told he’ll actually have to come to the Hill to interrogate, Schneider follows Frank to try and figure out why there seems to be an issue. Frank asks why he’s on the case; Schneider deflects by pointing out he’s training rookie detectives. Then Chapel shows up and takes a seat. They exchange pleasantries and wish one another luck regarding the commander position; they both seem sincere enough. After Chapel leaves, Schneider again tries to get Frank to send the kid downtown; no dice. In fact, Frank wants to be there for the interrogation.
A pair of feet stand on a manhole cover, and when we pan up it’s J.D. There’s a problem: the manhole isn’t big enough for the fake alligator. Neal suggests cutting off the legs, and LaRue is aghast. Back at the squad, Ray’s on the phone gauging his chances of taking over for Frank if he moves to Division; that call gets cut short by Frank’s return. Ray makes a show of asking Phil’s permission to draft Hill and Renko to go pick up some files for Frank; Phil gracefully consents, and Frank finally asks the two what the hell is going on. “Protocol, Francis,” is the only answer he gets. And then Phil tells Frank that Dewey Bromfield accidentally stabbed himself with a tranquilizer dart. Oy.
LaRue and Washington, with the alligator now limbless, drop the bait into the sewer. They re-attach the legs with duct tape. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the sewer, Howard’s on the phone with Frank venting his frustration over the lack of tranquilizer darts. And then here comes the wheeled alligator. Without tranqs, Hunter’s team has no choice but to open fire. And since it’s Hunter’s team, you can just imagine how many hundreds of rounds get fired. Up on the street, J.D. and Neal are in hysterics.
Back at the squad, everyone’s home. LaRue and Washington have already spread the story; Hunter and his goons are in Frank’s office with pieces of fake gator. Howard is livid, Frank is placating, and Henry enters the scene and trolls Howard. Out in the squad, Andy and Bobby have a lenghty conversation about Andy’s desire to become a homicide detective and Bobby’s relative contentment with the beat. During this chat, Andy mentions Furillo’s potential promotion. As they walk away, a rabbi slowly emerges from around the corner, staring at them in disbelief.
Except it’s not a rabbi. It’s Belker. Meanwhile, the cat which Henry had promised to deal with in five, ten minutes tops at the beginning of the episode is now at Lucy’s desk.
Schneider’s interrogating Rodriguez, and you’re given all the ammo you need to believe the kid’s innocent. Afterward, Schneider tries, gently, to get Frank to back off, but he doesn’t try too hard. Meanwhile, Belker is approaching as Schneider leaves. He just stares at Frank. Frank looks at him in confusion, then walks away; Belker keeps staring at him, then follows him to his office, where they talk. Mick’s trying not to be devastated.
As Mick leaves, Phil comes in. Forensics places Rodriguez’s prints all over the murder weapon. And the cat’s in Frank’s office again. He hands it off to Phil, specifically telling him to have Henry do something with it. He heads out for the night, and we finally get this episode’s first appearance by Joyce. Frank’s not really keen on the move to Division, because it’s a snakepit. They banter, until Frank’s pager goes off. After saying nothing is removing him from that bedroom, we cut to Frank and Fay at a diner. The calls aren’t stopping, and she wants to go home with Frank. He agrees, reluctantly, and we go to end credits.
Look, Pizza Man: “And more time for the better things in life, namely moi.” Joyce isn’t pressing Frank to take the promotion if offered, but she’s sure not going to complain about it if he does.
Would You Prefer Internal Injuries?: “Every man’s got his own destiny, and you shouldn’t worry about what happens to those of us left behind.” Mick’s trying to be encouraging to Frank, but he’s also piling on a heaping portion of passive-aggressiveness.
I’m Unarmed: “It’s a fourteen-year-old girl. Seems to me that’s everyone’s problem.” Henry’s pretty hostile when his partner, Chesley, points out that the sex club is Midtown’s problem. He’s obviously shaken up about this, which one would expect from the show’s liberal caricature. (That’s not a value judgement on Henry’s character, but it is his raison d’etre.
My Car!: “Now you… you may make sergeant someday.” “Appreciate your confidence in me, Renko.” The not-really-conflict between Andy and Bobby’s career goals is a running plot in this episode.
Judas Priest!: “If I were writing my memoir, Selkirk, I’d entitle this little episode ‘Prelude to Oblivion.’ It’s just another symptom of this city’s deteriorating nervous system.” Howard is very distraught that he hasn’t had a chance to wrangle an alligator, folks. Later, when Frank suggest Howard might be jumping the gun regarding Frank’s potential departure, Howard drops a doozy: “Not that I’m above occasionally being premature…” The best part is when he realizes what he said.
Mano a Mano: When Lucy finds the cat sitting in her chair at her desk, she relocates it… to her trash can.
I’m Good For It: “I see it all now. Saloondramat. The ultimate in singles laundromat and cocktail lounge.” What makes this bit even funnier is that in the early ’80s, this actually did become a thing.
What’s Up, Lover?: “Those figures say anything about where one comes up with $20,000, huh? One happens to be into me for $3200 now, you know?” Neal subtly reminding J.D. just how far he’s bent over for him over the years.
Not Now, Fay: “Don’t hello ME, Swanson. Do something. Anything!” Obviously, this is not the appropriate reaction to a friendly greeting from someone you haven’t seen in awhile. But in contrast to seven episodes of histrionics, Fay’s got a legitimate reason to be angry and rattled this time.
Central Booking: A ton of folks appear in this episode as well as the next two before either leaving for good or taking a hiatus. Returning guest stars include Gerry Black as Alf Chesley, and Don Cervantes as Nemo Rodriguez; all three would also appear in the following two episodes. George Dickerson returns as Divisional Commander Swanson; he’d stick around for the next three episodes. Dana Gladstone returns as Marv; he will only appear in the following episode before departing, although he’ll be back as a different character later in the series.
Also joining the three-story arc for its duration is Jordan Charney, playing Ed Chapel. Charney, who had a long guest-starring career on television including being part of the rotating cast of judges on Law and Order, would return in the final episode of season six in a different role.
Carl Weintraub as Dewey Bromfield and Lawrence Benedict as Frank Alexander make their only appearances on the show. (Alexander is never identified by name, but one presumes he’s Nemo Rodriguez’s attorney.) James Tartan makes the first of seven appearances. He plays Metzger, and will return in that role four episodes later in “Rites of Spring”; later, he’ll make five more appearances as the coroner, but in a continuity gaffe his name gets changed to Calloway.
There are also a few characters with lines who are uncredited and undentified: the Asian scofflaw and his mother who Ray is dealing with in his first scene of the episode, as well as Howard’s major domo Devlin. Selkirk doesn’t have any lines either; he’s just standing there so Howard has a human at whom to direct a monologue.
This episode features two big names, too. Making his only appearance on the Hill in the role of Dann is Tim Daly. This was only the second credit of his career; after bouncing around in minor roles for nearly a decade, he’d become a star as Joe Hackett on Wings; later, he’d star as Pete Wilder on Private Practice (with a couple of crossover appearances on Grey’s Anatomy).
The other guy you might easily recognize is Dolph Sweet, playing Lieutenant Emil Schneider. Like Cervantes, he’ll be in the following two episodes before departing. Sweet got his Master’s from Columbia and then spent 12 years as the head of the drama department at Barnard College before embarking on a long career on stage and as a character actor, mostly playing gruff and grizzled cops. His greatest fame, however, came after his appearances on the hill, starring as Chief Kaminsky, the male lead of the Nell Carter sitcom Gimme a Break. Sadly, after four seasons Sweet passed away from cancer, an event echoed in the show with the chief’s death.
Rap Sheet: Georg Stanford Brown makes his third appearance in the director’s chair in five episodes; he’ll take a break, returning in the final pre-Christmas episode of season two, “Chipped Beef.” Writing the script over Anthony Yerkovich’s story was E. Jack Kaplan in his only Hill credit. Steven Bochco and Michael Kozoll are absent from the actual working credits for this entire arc, although they of course retain creator credit.
Verdict: The change in Frank’s demeanor when it becomes clear that Fay has a real problem rather than either one of self-entitlement or one of completely failing to keep things in perspective is striking. For seven episodes (recall, Fay didn’t appear in one and didn’t have a hysterical subplot in another), we have seen him sit firmly on the curve between irritated and patient. He becomes truly solicitous this time, because it’s a serious issue — and, perhaps, a serious issue that he can’t fix on his own.
In regard to the homicide investigation, the way that we slowly figure out that something is awry is very well-crafted. We get a slow buildup of minor little pinpricks, and then when Frank is talking to Schneider at lunch it becomes clear, if subtly so, that Frank suspects something major. The positive match from forensics throws a spanner in the works, but it’s patently obvious that even if Rodriguez is guilty, there’s more to this than just a jealous kid or a robbery.
Frank’s potential promotion kicks off the series’ nearly-permanent focus going forward on just how much of a mess the department as a whole is. For nine episodes, we’ve been led to believe that the Hill is The Problem, but the reality is that it may well be the best-run precinct in the entire city, given its challenges. The administration is a chaotic, slippery morass of politics, so much so that Frank’s really not sure he wants any part of it.
The C-plot, the entire gator hunt fiasco, isn’t as funny as it could have been. On the other hand, it plays more like it really should: Hunter is a buffoon, and who wouldn’t want to prank him? It feels less like office hijinx than it does well-deserved humilation. That said, I may be colored by my having seen this episode multiple times. On a first viewing, it may be funnier than I think it is now.
Small beef: the cat gag throughout the episode is entirely too similar to an earlier episode. Remember the dog Henry had taken charge of at the station? The one he was supposed to get rid of and didn’t for an entire hour? Yeah.
Final score: On its own, 5. However, the ground is laid for an important arc here, and we’ll get to that over the next couple of weeks.
Next Week: “Life, Death, Eternity” – someone dies, and Frank’s potential promotion is wreaking havoc with the squad.
